Feels like an Arby’s night

Back in the old days of Bob-net, I had a column called What’s John Eating?

And that’s basically what it was — a chronicle of the ridiculous amounts of unhealthy food I’d consume during the course of a week or sometimes during the course of a day.

The column itself didn’t cause my current battle with high cholesterol, but the eating that inspired it most certainly did. I guess that’s why I don’t do the column anymore, because nobody wants to read something like, “Today I had a bowl of oatmeal, two bananas, a 5-ounce can of chicken, 17 almonds and a tuna sandwich.” I mean, come on!

But I had to share my experiences with the new Flatbread Melts from the good folks at Arby’s.

Yesterday for lunch I had the Fajita Beef Flatbread Melt. It’s got a big hunk of sliced roast beef with special seasonings, a melted slice of pepper jack cheese, zippy jalapeño ranch sauce and grilled red and green peppers and onions all stuffed into a warm, soft piece of folded-over flat bread.

I really liked the sauce and the pepper jack. But the peppers and onions in my melt weren’t grilled like the ones in the commercial, and there were no red peppers to be found. Only onions and green peppers. Worse yet, they were the same soggy peppers and onions that Arby’s puts on their Philly Beef sub, and they really took away from the taste. So much so, in fact, that I picked most of them out. Regardless, I still enjoyed it very much and vowed to try the Philly Beef Flatbread Melt as soon as possible.

So that’s what I did today after work, and it was infinitely better than the Fajita. (Don’t give me that look. These things are only available for a limited time, so I have to work fast.)

First and foremost, the (green and red!) peppers and onions were grilled to perfection. And there was a ton of roast beef in it. But the best part was the combination of melted swiss cheese and a tasty peppercorn Parmesan sauce that will have you driving to Canada to look for your socks, because that’s how far they’ll have been knocked off.

Both melts were enjoyed with a Pepsi and curly fries dipped in Arby’s mysterious “3 Pepper Sauce,” which has got more kick than Kelly Hu.

So if you’re curious about Arby’s new Flatbread Melts, skip the Fajita Melt and point your face in the direction of the amazing Philly Beef. You won’t be sorry.

What have you been eating? Because I’d really like to know.