I know I never write anything for my own website anymore, and I find that both sad and financially outrageous (because I’m paying for it), but I’m still doing lots of writing.
(I’m also doing lots of not writing, having finally learned to allow myself to enjoy my life and not spend so much time typing.)
One of my favorite gigs is reviewing three of DC Comics’ monthly Batman titles for Batman on Film — created, operated, and edited by Bill “Jett” Ramey, who’s the hardest working Batman fan on the planet.
(I know I say that all the time, but it’s true.)
With big changes coming to the Batman titles in November (which you can read about here), I’ll only be reviewing Detective Comics for a while. Until that happens, here’s a list of all the reviews I’ve written for Bill this summer.
DETECTIVE COMICS
The best of these three is easily #866, which was written by the legendary Dennis O’Neil, who reinvigorated Batman comics in the 1970s by returning the character to his serious roots after the silly science fiction of the 1950s and the camp of the 1960s. Christopher Nolan’s Batman films draw heavily from this era, which saw the creation of such villains as Ra’s Al Ghul (in “Daughter of the Demon” in June 1971′s Batman #232), who played a massive role in Nolan’s Batman Begins.
Without O’Neil’s visionary take on the Dark Knight, we’d never have gotten a scene of Bruce Wayne and Ra’s Al Ghul sword-fighting on a glacier. And that’s not a world I’d want to live in.
GOTHAM CITY SIRENS
Review: Gotham City Sirens #13
Review: Gotham City Sirens #14
Review: Gotham City Sirens #15
Under the tutelage of Paul Dini, who remains for my money the greatest narrative architect ever to set foot in Gotham City, this book began as a lot of fun with a firecracker premise:
Catwoman, Poison Ivy, and Harley Quinn move into a secret lair together and form a Charlie’s Angels-esque alliance, trying to be good in a city where they’ve had plenty of practice being bad.
Dini’s apparently no longer with the title, and it’s suffering greatly in his absence. For a great collection of Dini’s early issues, check out this gorgeous hardcover.
STREETS OF GOTHAM
After their dynamite run on Detective Comics, Dini and my new favorite Batman artist, Dustin Nguyen, were relegated to satellite titles when Grant Morrison’s admittedly inspired insanity became the driving force behind Batman at DC.
I cannot possibly recommend their hardcover collections Private Casebook and Heart of Hush enough, and it breaks my heart that such magnificently awesome storytelling was pushed aside for Morrison’s continuing craziness.
But it is what it is.
Issue #14 began a sequel to “Heart of Hush” that mysteriously didn’t get continued at all in #15. Read the reviews for more details.
And while I’ve got your Bat-ears bent, don’t forget to grab a copy of Batwoman: Elegy, one of the spookiest, sexiest, most supremely bad-ass comics stories I’ve read in my entire life.
More soon, and big thanks as always to Bill for the opportunity! News should start arriving soon about the next Nolan/Bale Batman movie, and BOF will be the place for all the information you’ll ever need.
Review: Rally’s A-1 Crispy Onion burger
When last I spoke of Rally’s, it was with a heavy heart — their decision to fancify their Big Buford ended up taking away all the simple things that made it so great.
(Though in the meantime I’ve found a solution in their Double Rally Burger, which is delicious and basically what the Buford used to be. )
Right now Rally’s is doing their new Unbelieva-Burgers promotion, and I just finished the A-1 Crispy Onion.
HELLO!
Outstanding. There’s no fast food patty that matches the flavor of the Little Place with the Big Taste, and this burger marries that meat under a sesame seed bun with crispy fried onion straws, melted cheese sauce, and a healthy slathering of A-1 steak sauce.
Sometimes burgers like this can be too sloppy, which has been a valid criticism of some of the messier chicken sandwiches Rally’s has offered in the past.
Not so with this tasty marvel. The two sauces complement each other perfectly with just the right amount of zing, and I couldn’t get enough of the pleasing crunch of the onion straws.
For backup, I got a Rallyburger with no pickles and no mustard. I still find it to be the most explosively tasty fast food burger on the planet.
My total was $2.14 for both burgers, and I washed them down with a crisp, clean Mountain Dew Throwback from home.
I’ll probably skip the Bacon Cheddar Crisp because I don’t like the idea of ground-up bacon, but I’ll definitely try the Mushroom Swiss next week, and I’ll certainly get another A-1 Crispy Onion. It’s just a ridiculous amount of flavor and punch for your burger buck.
Last night, my dad and I went to the Kentucky State Fair.
I ate a lot.
As many of you know, I packed on about 40 pounds over the course of 2008 and 2009. How could I have let that happen? I don’t know. How does anything happen?
Anyway, I’ve burned it all off this year thanks to the outrageously painful insanity of … Insanity. On October 15, I will hit 35 years of age in the absolute best shape of my life. I feel better — and I feel better about myself — than I ever have.
But that still doesn’t mean I don’t occasionally like to eat like a slob.
So last night I had:
1 corn dog
1 pork BBQ sandwich
1 roasted lamb sandwich with BBQ sauce
1 grilled pork chop sandwich with BBQ sauce
1/3 of my dad’s catfish sandwich
1/2 of my dad’s funnel cake
The amount of BBQ sauce I dripped on my pants? Acceptable.
I love the fair. It’s so much fun to watch the people and eat the food. No humidity last night, either, and the breeze was entirely welcome. I actually had what’s still the best date of my life at the fair once — we had corn dogs as appetizers, ribeye sandwiches for the main course, and ice cream cones for dessert. I love a woman who loves to eat, and someday hope to marry one.
And since I didn’t have room for an Italian sausage with all the fixings last night, I think I have to go to the fair again.
SOLDOUTcast: The Movie … 2!
Back in June, I was the guest on SOLDOUTcast, the awesome weekly podcast created by my friends Aaron and Mike.
Check these guys out — they put a lot of humor and heart into what they do, and the sky’s the limit when it comes to discussion topics.
On my first guest appearance, we performed a script I wrote that basically turned their podcast into a post-apocalyptic action movie. You can listen to the original installment here.
And now we’ve done the sequel, which is available here.
And you should listen to it, because it’s kind of amazing.
Mike’s fiancée Tiffany was able to play herself this time (though Mike’s impersonation of her in Part 1 was pretty hilarious), and the guys’ guest host for #22, our friend Greg Wilson, steps up to rescue us all from the clutches of evil before everything goes all Empire Strikes Back at the end.
The stakes have never been so high.
The massive amount of time and care that Mike put into editing this thing is flabbergasting, and the vocal performances from everyone are off the charts. Greg makes for a mighty Iron King, and when Aaron is called upon to express the greatest sorrow any man has ever felt about anything, all I can say is that you’ll feel it, too.
Here are just some of the things that happen in the sequel:
Flaming pig monsters!
Christina Hendricks in furry space lingerie!
Battles!
Sex!

Mythology!
Shortcuts!
Escapes!
It’s out of control, and ready for consumption.
Please let Aaron and Mike know what you think.
And yes, I wrote myself into a romantic relationship with Erica Durance of television’s Smallville.
So sue me!
Just in case you were wondering …
… and as if there would ever be any doubt anyway, Gillian “Special Agent Dana Katherine Scully” Anderson is still outrageously smoking hot.
She turns 42 today. This photo, from her official website, was taken in April.

Thor + Mjolnir = Awesome
Thor (Chris Hemsworth) wields his mighty hammer Mjolnir in this photo from USA Today.

… and I wish him the best, even though I couldn’t care less.
Read all about it here.
I loved the first two Spider-Man movies. Especially the second one.
Then the third one came along and … I can’t even talk about it anymore.
But here’s the review I did back in 2007. I don’t own the first two on Blu-Ray because they’re only available in a three-pack with the third one, and that piece of garbage isn’t allowed in my home.

Anyway, when director Sam Raimi and Sony couldn’t agree on the direction for a fourth film, Raimi and his cast (including Peter Parker himself, Tobey Maguire) were let go in favor of a total franchise reboot with new helmer Marc Webb (of (500) Days of Summer fame) in charge. The new film will reportedly take Peter back to high school and do everything all over again, with more emphasis on the teen angst stuff.
Eh.
After Spider-Man 3, there really wasn’t much of anything they could have done to restore my interest in this character. Maybe this new movie will be awesome, and I hope it is, but I’ll have to see and read a lot more about it before I can decide if I’m even excited.
In the meantime, best wishes and good luck to Mr. Garfield and his giant fucking hair.

Not since the golden era of The X-Files have I been so outrageously furious about a season finale … in a good way. And I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, since X-Files veteran Vince Gilligan created Breaking Bad and pulled both writing and directing duties on this episode.
“No half measures.” That’s what Mike told Walt last week, and Walt took those words way, way, way more than seriously. Here we see the ramifications of Walt’s actions … and a domino effect of game-changing choices that will define a fourth season that needs to be airing now, now, now, now, now.
This is truly, confidently, and completely the stuff great television is made of.
I’ve turned several of you on to this show, so I’ll give you plenty of room to stop reading if you’re not caught up. Full discussion and spoilers to follow. read more…
Justified season finale: “Bulletville”

The first season of FX’s excellent new series Justified gunned its way to one hell of an ending last week, posing new questions and teasing new directions between every shot fired.
And though I’ll never get tired of watching U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens (Timothy Olyphant) zing bullets into bad guys who’ve got it coming, the show’s greatest strengths continue to be its characters and the things they say, which always make the writer in me extremely jealous.
If you’re new to the show or haven’t seen the finale yet, you should stop reading right now, because I’m going to talk about everything up to and including the ending. read more…
Review: Robin Hood

For all the movies and television series that have been made about Robin Hood, and as much as I love anything involving bows and arrows and swords and heroics, I’ve really not seen that many of them. But I absolutely love Kevin Costner’s Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, which was directed by Kevin Reynolds, who made another of my favorites, The Count of Monte Cristo.
What wasn’t to love? You had Alan Rickman and Michael Wincott in the rogues gallery and, as my friend Rhiannon eloquently (and correctly) stated, “Any movie that has Morgan Freeman flinging a scimitar at a witch is a winner.” Couldn’t have said it better myself.
While Costner’s take was more of a fun adventure, the new version by director Ridley Scott — starring Russell Crowe as the legendary hero — goes for more of an historical angle. And though there are points in its hefty running time where it can’t quite decide whether to be a sweeping historical epic or a smaller, nobler harbinger of the events that defined a nation and created an outlaw, I really can’t name a single scene or performance that didn’t work for me, and I can’t wait to revisit it on Blu.
King Richard the Lionheart (Danny Huston) has fallen in battle, and Sir Robert Loxley (Douglas Hodge) is charged with returning the crown to England with the news. But Loxley and his men are brutally murdered in an ambush set by Sir Godfrey (Mark Strong), whose French lineage means his allegiances aren’t entirely to his own countrymen.
Interrupting the slaughter — and also interrupting the fleeing Godfrey’s face with an arrow that needed to go just a little to the right — is Robin Longstride (Crowe), an archer who, along with comrades Alan A’Dale (Alan Doyle), Will Scarlet (Scott Grimes), and Little John (Kevin Durand), had to sit out the battle at the mercy of the King’s probation.
Robin promises the dying Loxley that he’ll finish his mission for him. But Loxley gives him yet another task — returning the sword of his father, Sir Walter Loxley (Max Von Sydow), to his family home, where the woman who’s now his widow, the Lady Marian (Cate Blanchett), still waits for her husband’s return.
Robin and his merry men decide the easiest way to do this and then quickly disappear from history would be to don the armor of the fallen men, and so they do, with Robin impersonating Loxley. The news is delivered. Next, the sword. But nothing else that happens is remotely that easy.
The elder Sir Loxley — with an infectious glimmer in Von Sydow’s eye despite the character’s blindness — is far from offended by Robin’s impersonation of his son. In fact, he’s thrilled by it, and wishes Robin to continue the charade. Lady Marian obliges her father-in-law despite being initially disgusted by the idea, but of course she warms to Robin as the story goes on.
And I love the chemistry between Crowe and Blanchett. Robin has never known how to be anything but a warrior, and Marian never got the chance to learn how to be a wife. So even though neither of them is a spring chicken, romance is still something relatively new to them — and more than a little terrifying. It’s one of my favorite aspects of the film, and I almost wish it had been given a little more time.
But we’ve also got to make room for the new King John (Oscar Isaac), crowned in the wake of his brother’s death despite the legitimate misgivings of his mother, the formidable Eleanor of Aquitaine (Eileen Atkins). And his choice of queen, Isabella of Angoulême (Léa Seydoux, whose succulent lines reminded me of a dirty French Scarlett Johansson), doesn’t do Eleanor’s peace of mind any favors, either. (Also look out for a French lieutenant played by Denis Menochet, who played Seydoux’s father, Perrier La Padite, in one of last year’s most amazing performances in Inglorious Basterds.)
When the new king sends his lapdog Godfrey to collect taxes from the beleaguered citizens as the French plot a siege against England’s southern coast, the barons look for a leader and a hero.
Guess who?
Throw in some Magna Carta intrigue and a wild, appropriately outrageous beachfront battle at the end, and you’ve got a big, exceedingly well-made film that looks fantastic and entertains with plenty of style.
Russell Crowe is really fantastic here, inspiring during big speeches and suitably reserved when quiet moments demand it. Between this and the excellent Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World, the Australian actor is doing England proud.
The movie also did nothing to abate the deep and mighty love I hold in my heart for Cate Blanchett, whose otherworldly beauty shines through Marian, no matter how plain they try to make her look.
William Hurt is also amazing as William Marshal, the 1st Earl of Pembroke, who served four kings and earned a reputation as the greatest knight who ever lived. Hurt’s performance will make you believe it, and he shares one of the film’s best and tensest scenes in a hallway with Strong.
If you’re looking for a Robin Hood movie where Robin and his Merry Men run around the woods and interfere with the best laid plains of the Sheriff of Nottingham, you won’t find it here. And I like that, because we’ve all seen that story. Robin Hood aims the arrows of its narrative at a more historical context while capably holding true to the heart of the legend we all recognize and love.











